Heaven and hell

Happy Thursday,

How is everyone doing today? Are you ready for the weekend? Looks like we may have rain in our forecast, which is much needed. Maybe with some rain it can help with the fires here in SoCal. It’s scary when fires are so out of control and those first responders are out there putting their lives on the line for their communities. Those firefighters and other agencies are very much appreciated. Anyway, hoping things settle for those affected.

My weekend is going to be non-stop. Tomorrow, I get to enjoy my son for a movie night, then Saturday I get to go to a chili cook-off and Sunday, I am honored to be able to attend the 9-11 event here in the lake. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude and in awe of how this community in which I live, remembers the 9-11 attacks and the day that forever changed the lives of all of us. It really is a wonderful way my neighbors remember. I hope to grab some photos, so maybe I can share those with you next week.

Today I wanted to talk a little bit about depression and unhappiness. See, I wonder if sometimes we group the two into the same category. Makes you wonder, are they the same or is there a difference? According to http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs, they say, “unhappy people know they’re unhappy and realize it is a temporary emotion brought on by a sad event, and they see a light at the end of the tunnel. Unhappy people know they will feel happy again, in time. Depressed people often feel sad, but can’t pinpoint a reason why, or they feel a type of nothingness-no sadness, no happiness, no hope. A depressed person’s tunnel is long and twisty, blocking the light at the end from view.”

I was talking with someone the other day and in the course of our conversation, all he could tell me was he lives in hell. I didn’t have too much to say, I let him vent, not because I didn’t want to say anything, but because, there was nothing to say. He sees no way out of any of the life challenges he faces, other than, not existing anymore. He’s so numb to the thought of life being anything but bad for him. He is beyond resentful for the medical field not being able to help him. When he was sharing his resentment towards the doctors in his world, he stated they just don’t care. He’s been telling them he needs help for about two years, and he claims they don’t listen or care. I can’t comment on that being either true or false, because I’m not in on his visits, but he has said, they have told him to check into the mental facility near his home. I asked him why he doesn’t do this, and he said, because he can’t check out when he wants to. So, the only conclusion I can draw at this time is, he wants help only on his terms. Now the question arises again, is he depressed, unhappy, or just angry at life?

I believe he is depressed and consumed with so much anger, which makes him unhappy. It makes me sad that he can’t find anything to be positive about. I told him I’ll always be here to listen, but he lashed out at me and said he won’t be talking to me anymore. He got angry with me when I told him to not give up and would he like me to call someone for him. He said it’s none of my business to suggest I call someone to help him, and there you have it. I was hurt by his comment, but when I talked with Martin, he helped me see that this person was turning his life circumstances into a reason to lash out. Martin also explained, this person is in such a dark place, and he needs help, right now though, he’s not ready, so he suggested, I simply leave the doors of communication open, should he reach out again.

Depression is a hard thing to deal with. I’ve been there, to the point where I needed to check myself into a four-month outpatient intense therapy program. I learned on my journey to recovery, it’s one of the hardest things to do. It was so difficult facing my “demons’ and the things that contributed to me becoming so numb to anything and everything in life. I gave up and I didn’t care about anything anymore. I was put on medication to help me. I still have to check in every once in a while, to make sure I’m not slipping back into that place of darkness and guess what, that’s okay. If I learned nothing else, I learned that mental health challenges are real, and they are not taboo and it’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t make a person weak, on the contrary, it shows strength.

I’ve also been unhappy and been in a super dark place with those feelings. While sitting in depression and unhappiness, I will tell you, it’s possible for your mind to become so foggy, you can’t tell the difference between the two. They seem to meld together. I will say, if you are feeling like you are in a dark place, seek medical attention right now. Let the experts help you on your journey to becoming happy and mentally healthy again.

I know for me, when I feel blue or unhappy, if I surround myself with the things I love to do, it helps put me in a better state of mind. Going for walks on the beach and being in nature are two things that I find beneficial for my mental health. That’s what works for me, however, we are all individuals, so what works for me might not work for you.

Depression and unhappiness, in my opinion, both need to be addressed, acknowledged and talked about. As a community of people, we need to accept people the way they are and help each other, check in with one another from time to time and show less judgement for one another, especially when we can’t understand what each of us are going through.

Life is hard, we all face challenges, some face them better than others, and that’s okay too. If we can learn from others, listen a little more, be kinder, maybe mental health can be less of a hush hush subject and those suffering can be helped a little bit better and faster, knowing, they’re not alone. “Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a meltdown. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.”-quotesandhacks.com.

The important part of that quote is to remember, we’re human. When suffering from depression it isn’t always easy to refocus, sometimes, we need the medical help, yet, if by chance we do see that we aren’t in a good place, maybe we can recognize we aren’t headed to the best of places, maybe that’s the signal, to reach out and get some help and if it’s unhappiness we are facing, could we discern what it is that put us on that path? Could we refocus on a better. healthier path?

I guess all I can do is suggest this to you, my amazing readers. Darkness is no laughing matter, and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Perhaps the best thing we can do, is check in with ourselves and with our medical professionals and find out what it is exactly we are enduring. Talk to someone you trust and who you know has your best interest at heart. If that someone suggests mental health care, know that they are seeing or hearing something that is alarming to them and take them up on that suggestion. It’s okay if you need help. We all do at one time or another.

Life is full of, not only challenges, but unknowns. I hope one day, mental health isn’t such a hush word. I hope one day, we can all see the world through an amazing, clear lenses, instead of a darkness that so many face today.

Drop me a comment and let me know what you think of the blog. I love hearing from you and please, if there’s anything I’m off base with, let me know. I never want to misguide any of my readers or anyone else.

Enjoy your day and I hope, you can open your hearts, listen, and evolve today. Until next time, have the best day ever. Hugs

here’s a link to my podcast, Have You Evolved Today, take a listen and let me know what you think.

anchor.fm/hyet

Happy Monday,

How is everyone doing today? Our long weekend is coming to an end, and though I hate to see it go, I’m excited to get back to my normal routine. How about you? Are you having the best day and how was your long weekend? Shoot me a message or drop me a comment and let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I thought I’d jump right into the blog today. Something was said to me the other day and it’s really been weighing on me. You see, I was told that there’s no heaven and we live in hell. I asked this person, how can you have one without the other, that makes no sense to me. He said, God has given up on us and he’s just letting us “burn” in hell. He then went onto tell me he doesn’t believe in God anymore, but he believes in Satan the Devil. Again, I questioned this, how can you have one without the other? He said Satan is evil and we live in an evil society, and we are worse than Sodom and Gomorrah. I told him for me, I can’t believe in one without the other. With that being said, I don’t believe hell is a place of burning torment. The God I believe in is a loving God, even towards those that don’t believe in him.

I asked a friend of mine the other day what his thoughts were as far as mankind living in hell. He said, things are worse than they were perhaps forty years ago, and he supposes we could be living in a type of hell.

Now I have two people who can see that mankind is living in hell. I’m still struggling with this concept a little bit, and then, something was presented to me that gave me a different perspective or hope on the matter. “Heavin is this moment. Hell is the burning desire for this moment to be different. It’s that simple.”-Jeff Foster. My aha moment. There are so many moments in my life that are amazing. Hearing the voice of one of my sons, watching my pups run together, being with family and friends, having a home where I feel safe, being in the arms of the man I love, being kissed by him, making love, those are all moments that I feel like I’m in heaven and the opposite of that is, when I let my mind get the best of me. When I overthink something to the point it consumes me and I allow it to take over my sound reasoning and all I see is the negative, that’s my hell and it’s my burning desire for the moment I’m living in to be different.

While I don’t believe in an actual burning hell, I do think I believe we all go through times where we feel as though we are in hell. For the person who told me he believes this is hell that we all live in, I have to disagree. Sure, we all face difficulties and some worse than others and I never want to minimize what someone is going through. Times are hard and can be overwhelming, like there’s no way out. I can’t imagine how people get through certain challenges, and I’m shocked I got through some of mine. In all honesty, I’m surprised that I am still here to tell my own story.

There was a time when I thought the only way out was to not exist. There was a time when I would pray every night not to wake up the next day, yet God saw something in my future that I couldn’t even comprehend, and now that six years has come and gone, I am grateful that my life has gotten better and I’m still here to tell my story.

My prayers were answered, though not in the way I wanted at the time, they were answered. I used to pray to God to let me know what it was like to feel loved, just once in my life, I wanted to know what it felt like to feel loved. Now, I have Martin in my life, and I’ve felt love more than once by this incredible man.

The words written by Jeff Foster really touched my heart, “hell is the burning desire for this moment to be different.” I think the person who told me we are living in hell just wants things to be different for once in his life and he deserves that one little break to make his life a little better. It saddens me knowing those I love and care about struggle with so much darkness. I haven’t walked in their shoes, nor do I walk in yours, so to say I completely understand your “hell or heaven”, I can’t totally relate, however, I can tell you, don’t give up, you are worth so much. I can say this because I know for a fact, you are uniquely made. No two fingerprints are alike. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”- Margaret Mead.

I just loved that quote. Just like everyone else, we “are absolutely unique.” What does this have to do with heaven and hell? I suppose, it’s our outlook on life, it’s what path we are on, perhaps it’s the price we pay for certain choices, yet, what our life looks like today, heaven or hell, it doesn’t have to define us for the rest of our lives. I can’t believe just because I made one choice in life, I have to suffer or pay for it forever. I believe in a God, a Universe that is made up of love and though we as a world are facing certain types of hell, that can’t be all there is.

It’s hard sometimes to find the good, or appreciate what we have, I get that, I’ve been there, and I still struggle with keeping my mindset in check, but I will continue to work every day towards being the best I can be with the cards delt to me. When I find myself slipping into a dark place, I’m grateful that I have Martin. I’ve let my guard down enough with him that I no longer fight back his words of encouragement and sometimes words that don’t feel so good. He is honest with me and sometimes honesty, though it be for my best interest, the words hurt. I don’t like hearing that I’m taking something directly to the negative, I’d rather him jump on my pity party, or so I think at the moment, but when I shut my mouth, listen, he helps me evolve into a more clear-thinking person. He helps me find something good in the situation, or he tells me, “You can’t worry about what’s going to happen, because you don’t know, you just have to be prepared for whichever scenario will take place and be prepared to deal with it either way. It’s when he helps me readjust negative thoughts that I cannot dwell in hell, instead, I can turn my attention to something more positive and focus on that.

I don’t want to minimize what anyone is going through; I only hope through my writing I can give you a glimpse into looking at those horrific situations from a different point of view.

I once saw the world through a half empty glass, and now, I work hard at looking at the world through a half full glass. It’s sometimes in our perspective. I know too, that the reason I write my blogs and do my podcast is I have this passion for people and if I can make the difference in the life on one person, then I feel I’ve done what God, or the Universe wanted from me.

I hate thinking that people feel we live in hell. It hurts my heart to think someone feels that dark about life and I hope they find some sort of happiness soon.

My dear readers, I do hope you are having the greatest of days and until next time, open your hearts, listen and evolve today++

check out my podcast at:

anchor.fm/hyet

Have you evolved today?

Category Archives: Heaven and hell

Depression and Unhappiness