Happy Monday,

How is everyone doing today? How was your weekend? What an amazing weekend to reflect on how precious life is. Twenty-one years ago, the world was forever changed by the events of 9-11. I do hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and maybe you got the chance to tell that someone special in your life just how much you love them.

This weekend I was honored to be a part of the 9-11 events in my community. Yesterday morning I attended a more solemn event where speeches were given from our city fire chief, along with a member of the community who was a flight attendant for American Airlines and it just happened to be her day off yet sadly, some of her co-workers and friends were killed by the terrorist attack. She said this was the first time she was able to talk about the events of that day. At the end of her speech, she said to the audience, don’t ever take for granted telling someone you love them, don’t ever think you’ll get around to doing that something tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come. She gave a beautiful speech and one, I’ll never forget.

Yesterday was a day of reflecting for me. There are no words to express how I felt being able to talk to those who were affected personally by the 9-11 attacks and by those who have served or are serving in our military, to those who are on our front lines, like our firefighters, our police, medical personal, all those that are our everyday hero’s, who are serving on my behalf and the behalf of everyone in my community and communities around the world.

A friend of mine gave a speech last night asking God for a little extra oversight for those who serve our country, she said, “please watch over them a little bit more, and keep them safe because they are willing to give up their life, so I don’t have to.”

Yesterday really gave me perspective into life and how judging others takes so much away from life itself. I try not to judge, I know we all try not to be judgmental, however, I think sadly, it’s part of our human nature and I believe when we realize it our human imperfection, we work hard to rise above judging.

Martin and I plan to release a podcast soon on judging, so I hope you will all chime in for a listen on that subject matter.

I saw this quote this morning, and how funny it’s on the very topic Martin and I were talking about. The Universe truly does guide us towards the path we need to be on, if only we listen. The quote said this, “Don’t judge my choices when you don’t understand my reasons”-Ravenwolf.

When my sons were growing up, I had this mindset that I would never say my kid didn’t do something without first hearing the facts. I never wanted my sons to feel as though their mistake was so grand that they couldn’t come to me. You see, I felt if I put an expectation on them saying they weren’t capable of something, then if they slipped and did that something, it would be worse for them to recover from the consequences. Instead, what I told my sons was, “your gonna screw up from time to time, and that’s okay, just learn from those screw ups” or mistakes, I suppose sounds nicer. Anyway, I pray I instilled in them that no matter what they do, I’ll always love them. I might not be happy with a choice they make, but my love for them will never, ever change.

I grew up in a cult/religion that put so much emphasis on the choices we made. Actually, making my own choices was never allowed. I had to follow a very strict order of things that were set out by eight men in suites, the high Archy of the church. Sure, they claimed it was what the Bible taught, but they took things to a level of indoctrinating its followers, especially women, to believe we had to be perfect.

“I was always told who and what I should be, how I should act and the choices I should make.”- Ravenwolf. When I read this this morning, it hit me so hard. This was my entire life, but guess what, I’m done with that. I’m so grateful that I woke up, even though some of the unrealistic consequences placed on the churches members who knew me, who professed to be my friend no matter what, continue to hurt me. I sometimes miss the “community” of the church life I was once a part of. There’s this amazing YouTuber that I follow, Wendi Renay, and she is so inspirational to so many. She always says, if we listen to other’s stories, we will see a part of us in those stories. (Not sure if this is her exact words, but close). She shows, in my opinion, we all walk in each other’s shoes to a point, but unless we walk in each other’s exact shoes, we have no right to judge, and I’m sure she would absolutely say, we have no right to judge not matter what. I believe what she’s trying to convey to her audience is, we all have a story, so be compassionate and accepting of one another. Stop the judgment that so many of us were taught in the cult/religion in which we escaped. See yourself in what others do, or have done and by doing that, we can embrace each other and overlook flaws. Hear the stories of others and catch a glimpse of yourself in what others have gone through. You might just be surprised at how similar we all are.

Yes, I say I escaped from the cult/religion, especially being a woman, I feel that’s what we all did. Leaving a religion in which woman are controlled, many of us didn’t have more than a high school education and so many of us relied on our husbands or dads for support, leaving was actually escaping, knowing, most likely, we would be facing life alone if we didn’t have someone on the outside to help us. It’s a scary move to make, to leave everything you knew. But once we went down the “rabbit hole” of finding out we were lied to our entire life, it’s a mind “F” to continue in the cult/religion. Escaping or leaving, maybe is all we could do at that point. I know some don’t believe anymore, but they continue with the facade of being still in. They have to, because the alternative of being judged for not believing the same anymore is harder than staying.

I know this much; I’m so done living my life by what other people tell me should be my life. I’m not saying the opinions of my loved ones aren’t taken into consideration, but in order to be a healthy, thriving induvial, I believe it’s important for us all to be “critical thinkers.” The JW religion/cult was run by eight men in New York. They run the religion based upon what’s good for them. I’m not saying some of the rules weren’t beneficial, and I did learn public speaking, however, in my opinion, most of their rules are man-made based upon unfounded interpretations of the scriptures.

“I’m done living my life by the opinions of the people who don’t know me and frankly, don’t care and don’t matter. If they had their way, they’d have me just another copy in a world full of unoriginal pretenders. I can’t live that way, because I’ll never be happy trying to be whatever it is they think I should be. They didn’t walk my road, endure my struggles and nearly drown in the storms of my life. So, when they try to whisper in my ear their opinion of me and my life, I’m going to smile and walk away. I’d rather die in the flames of a passionate life than to slowly wither away in the life devoid of love and passion. Sure, they’ll judge me, they’ll mock me and probably shun me (which they did), but I really don’t care anymore. I’m not going to try to make anyone but myself happy, because that’s all I can really control. I’m going to chase my dreams, enjoy my life and soak in the beautiful moments that surround me every day. The rest of them will never understand that about me and they don’t have to. I’m not asking for permission or approval to live my life the way that I choose. Life is hard enough without trying to please people that don’t care in ways that don’t matter about things that are irrelevant. Forget what the world thinks I should be. This is my life, my journey and my choices. Whether I’m different, unique or one of a kind doesn’t really matter, because I’m not being who I am to make a statement. I’m choosing my path for the best reason of all. To be happy. And no one can ever take that away from me, now or ever, Ravenwolf.”

I’m so grateful for those in my life now that have helped me think for myself. My new family and friends have given me the permission I needed at the time to take leaps of faith and believe in myself. Cheering me on as I made strides to become my true authentic self. It’s pretty cool, and I couldn’t have learned to walk my path without the help and guidance of those who love me, unconditionally. Martin saw in me a talent for writing, and now, I have two blogs and a column in my local paper. I can’t wait to feel the keyboard on the tips of my fingers as I pour my heart and soul out every day, be it in my blogs, my column or simply in my journal.

I have a friend Leslie who knew me in my previous, indoctrinated life and who, despite it all, has stuck by me. She told me recently, I think it was on my birthday, that she has seen me grow as a person. She even told me she’s proud of me. She’s helped me through some pretty dark places, and I don’t think I can ever repay her. I can only continue to become the best me possible. I can listen to the Universe and to those that are put on my path, like Leslie, and follow the signs. The Universe, God, or whoever you refer to as our higher power, knows where we need to be, when we need to be there and he uses others, like Leslie, to help us see more clearly the signs we may be missing.

The one thing I’ve learned is, when I was in the cult/religion, I was actually being taught to judge others. They were so clever in the way they indoctrinated me and others with judging. It makes me sick and sad to think I used to believe it was okay to think someone who wasn’t a part of the religion would die at this Armageddon, brought on by God. What right do any of us have to sit and say because of the way someone believes, they aren’t worthy of God’s so called promises the religion says are in the Bible. To say their followers are sheep and those who don’t believe are goats, that’s judging and the God I’ve come to know since my escape, he’s a loving, forgiving and compassionate God and guess what, I feel so much closer to him now than I ever did being one of his witnesses, at least that’s what I used to be called.

I think I’m a better witness of his word now. I try to write about a loving God, rather than one of judgement. It is my goal through my blog and podcast to open the hearts of my readers to see that God is our friend, we can worship or serve him or whatever you want to call it, and we can see him as our friend, not something or someone to fear. My God is a loving God, not one who judges people and picks and chooses only a certain group.

One thing I’ve learned through my waking up process is, to judge is hurtful and to be judged, can destroy someone. Matthew 7:3 says this, “why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” There we have it, most, if not all of the time, when we pick on or judge someone else, we should stop and think, what plank do we need to fix in our own life.

My dear readers, if you take just one point away from today’s blog, let it be this. Don’t judge others, because like us, they made choices based upon what information they were given, and that information isn’t always the best or most reliable. Unless we walk in each other’s shoes, it’s not for us to become judges. We all have our own backyards to clean up. Just my opinion and thought. We never know truly the total story of why people do what they do. It’s hard not to judge, yet, how much healthier and happier we will be if we try and train ourselves to stop casting judgement on others, including ourselves. One small step at a time. It’s work to not form negative opinions regarding others at times, but whoever said life wasn’t filled with challenges and lessons to be learned. I think that’s part of our purpose in life, to learn to get along, so see life through someone else’s perspective from time to time. When you think about it, it’s pretty cool. We can learn so much from each other if we only open our hearts and minds to them, without judgment.

I’m going to wrap this up now, and I do hope you have a wonderful week and one that is filled with love. I hope we can all get along a little better, who knows, maybe we can be the puzzle piece to changing the world, one act of kindness and understanding at a time.

Please remember to open your hearts and minds and evolve today. Until next time, have the best day ever++

cool podcast to chime into, link below:

anchor.fm/hyet