Happy Monday evening

How is everyone doing tonight? I do hope you had a wonderful day. My day has been a bit overwhelming and a tiring. Martin is in surgery as I write this. He has a blood clot, and they are trying to get it removed. I do feel he’s in good hands and I pray he will be back in his room soon. It’s been almost two hours and I just want to see his face and kiss him goodnight.

Martin is the most amazing man I know. Today, I was listening to my spirit guides, and they told me that I’m with my soulmate, and they are so right. They also told me that my soulmate and I share a passion for something, and I know what that passion is, and they are so right, Martin and I share a passion for wanting to help people. It is our hearts desire to work together, not only on our podcast, but on our blog in hopes of helping someone find their happiness, and their path to the best life ever. We want to help people evolve and open their hearts and along the way, we hope to have our hearts open more and evolve more.

I saw this wonderful story today and I wanted to share it. I know Martin and I talked about on our podcast #2, should women be silent in church. When I saw this reminder of a mom, it made me think of our podcast and it made me think of my life before Martin. Let me share it with you, then I’ll explain what I mean about my life.

“Living Full: There was a mom who was called a ‘nag,’ by her partner, her children, and she swears she once saw the dog roll his eyes when she was complaining about dog hair on the couch. And the truth is, it would be nice if someone thought about-everyone’s schedules, making doctor’s appointments, packing lunches and snack, buying gifts for birthdays, keeping track of what groceries are running low, everyone’s mental well-being, vacuuming the crumbs off the kitchen floor-and it didn’t all fall on her. It would be nice if she didn’t have to carry the whole family, and they could carry some of their own weight without her reminding them ten times. But, if she doesn’t do it herself or delegate, it won’t get done. And when they finally make the bed or clean up their room, it needs to be congratulated or applauded, or they won’t do it again. While for her, it’s expected, and hardly noticed. And she’s tired of telling everyone what to do, of praying her partner has the same urgency and level of care she has when she asks him to perform a task, of her partner agreeing to do XYZ to ‘help her out’ when it’s their house too, of telling everyone to do all the things they should instinctively do, and being fed up when one of her children or her partner calls her a ‘nag.’ Because she doesn’t want to micromanage, she just wants to get everything done for the people she loves the most: HER FAMILY.”-This Mama Doodles.

My entire life has been doing it all. I look back and I know much feeling the need to do it comes from the mis-guided mind set I had since I was a mere toddler. You see, my mother joined this cult/religion when I was two years old, and, in the cult, women had no voice. Women were expected to keep silent, be in submission to the men and it was the role of a woman to cook, clean, tend to the children, and basically, be enslaved to their husbands. I had a husband of over thirty years that took his role of head of the household very seriously. He felt since he was the bread winner, everything around the home was my job, even though I worked full time too. He based the importance of my job on my income. I remember there was a few years that I worked for the school district, and I was offered a really nice, full-time position and he wouldn’t allow me to take it because it meant he wouldn’t have control of my day.

I worked full time instead for the company he worked for, and he was my supervisor, therefore, he had complete control of my days. If he wanted me working from home, that’s what I did. I had to check in with him regarding my route for marketing on every given day that I worked. Even though I worked, he still expected me to get the kids to and from school, to and from their sporting events and I was expected to have his dinner on the table when he was hungry. I had to get up early to make sure he had breakfast and pack him a lunch. If his shirts weren’t ironed or cleaned, he would become very angry with me. I don’t know the meaning of doing nothing and relaxing. To this day, five years after our split, I still can’t relax.

When I read the above story, it really hit me hard. It was what I felt for so long and I didn’t have the voice to express myself. I felt trapped, devalued and I knew I didn’t matter, and I never felt love, that is, until Martin came along. Now, I am someone’s partner.

Martin helped me find my voice and he showed me the way to standing up for what I not only want, but my needs. He always tells me my feelings matter, and more importantly, he tells me what I have to say really matters, especially to him. Just knowing he loves me the way I am, imperfections and all, makes me feel like I hold the moon and stars in my hand.

Being silent in any relationship, being the one that must do it all, well, that’s not exactly a relationship, now is it. If everything must fall on one person, then, resentment begins to form and someone recently told me, that will destroy any relationship. I have to agree, it not only destroyed my marriage, but it destroyed me in the process, and it’s taken me so long to find me again and guess what, I’m actually liking the person I was meant to be.

So, my dear friends, don’t lose your voice. We as women were created to compliment him, or in some cases, our partners. Relationships are partnerships, and we all must work together to make the house a home. That’s just my thought anyway. Speak up if you need help and whatever you do, don’t let resentment settle in your heart. It’s a hard feeling to get rid of.

I do hope you all enjoy this blog and please, open your hearts, minds and listen. Listen to your heart, to your guides and feel the presence of the Universe. Evolve today my dear friends and until next time, enjoy life….

I hope you enjoy the following podcast and hey, if you have time, check out a really cool blog I’ve run across.

lovelifewithdawna.wordpress.com

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